It’s Wom­en’s His­to­ry Month and I want to know where is the love?

Why as women–why do we tear each oth­er down?  I can think of three dif­fer­ent women sim­i­lar in age, eth­nic­i­ty and income brack­et who have attempt­ed to sab­o­tage my career, and I can­not come up with a good rea­son as to why.

It’s dis­ap­point­ing and incred­i­bly heart-break­ing for me because I am a girls’ girl.  I love, love when I hear of a woman who’s done some­thing amaz­ing; I want to be near her, learn from her and claim her–yes, there goes one of my peo­ple, is what I’m think­ing.

But there have been a few women in my career who have con­fused me with their inse­cu­ri­ties.

It’s always frus­trat­ing when a woman who could have helped me advance in my career did­n’t.  What are we so afraid of?    I stopped com­pet­ing with oth­ers and start­ed com­pet­ing with myself.  I set the bench­mark for who I want to be because I am one of a kind and so are you.  I pre­fer to col­lab­o­rate and share infor­ma­tion ver­sus try­ing to keep it all to myself.

None of us is self-suf­fi­cient.  We depend on each oth­er to suc­ceed.

Can you think of one per­son who did some­thing grandiose alone?  I can’t. Why do you sup­pose this is? Sure, per­haps she came up with a great idea and start­ed on her own but at some point, in order to become suc­cess­ful at some­thing, she need­ed the help and sup­port of oth­ers.  We need oppor­tu­ni­ty; we need col­lab­o­ra­tion.

Why do we resent our female col­leagues for their suc­cess with so much more angst than we do our fel­low men?  Why are we so crab­by to one anoth­er?

The Crab Buck­et Effect — if you put one crab in a buck­et with the lid off, it will get out.  If you put two or more, they will all stay in.  Why?  Because when one tries to climb out, the oth­ers will pull her legs down.

I love women so much that if I had to choose between a capa­ble man and a capa­ble woman for a job, I’d choose the woman every sin­gle time.  Why?  Because I want to see more of us suc­ceed.

We need more pow­er­ful women; we need more women in exec­u­tive roles.  Let’s change this around.  Let’s stop it with the gos­sip, let’s stop body sham­ing each oth­er. Let’s stop sham­ing sin­gle moth­ers, unmar­ried women and women who don’t have chil­dren.  I’m not talk­ing about girls in their teens or twen­ties.  I’m talk­ing about grown women.  Every­one has a sto­ry and we have no right to judge.  Let’s instead encour­age, sup­port and pro­vide guid­ance to oth­er women.  Let’s empow­er each oth­er.

When I see a fit lady, I want to know how she did it.  When I see a suc­cess­ful woman, I want to know how she got there.  We can all be pow­er­ful togeth­er.  There’s enough room for all of us.  We don’t all want the same thing, there’s enough to go around.

Can you take the pledge to sup­port oth­er women?  Can you make time to men­tor and to show oth­er women how to get to where you are?  I can and I will.  I have ded­i­cat­ed this entire blog for women!  I have my hus­band; I am not seek­ing male friends, sor­ry fel­las.  I cov­et women who are about some­thing.  I want more of these women in my life. I want to col­lab­o­rate with you.  I know there are so many of you out there.

As a woman, what will you do today to help one of our kind out?  The next time you see a lady walk in for an inter­view, put your inse­cu­ri­ties aside and see her val­ue, and keep a soft spot for her in your heart.  We need each oth­er.  You can grow in your career while help­ing oth­er women grow in theirs as well.

As always, thank you so much for tak­ing the time to read my posts and for shar­ing them with your peers. You are pro­found­ly appre­ci­at­ed.