If you want people to know where you draw the line, then you need to learn to set boundaries. Without boundaries, relationships in business and in our personal lives cannot function well.
Forcing people to make their problems our own is a subtle form of manipulation. I do not want to discourage anyone from helping others, but I am saying that we should try not to rob people of their problems.
According to Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, “We should serve, and love and make a difference in the lives of others, of course. But when we make their problem our problem, we aren’t helping them; we are enabling them. Once we take their problem from them, all we are doing is taking their ability to solve it.”
So when you find yourself worrying, fretting and exerting your energies to keep “them” going, as it turns out, they no longer have the problem because you have taken it from them and made it yours.
“Forcing people to solve their own problems is equally beneficial for you and for them.”
Boundaries are Essential
Demarcate what’s off limits and do so in advance. Money and time should be equally important. Don’t let anyone take either for their sole benefit. This is true in every area of life, including and specially in our jobs.
What would your boss say if you brought your children to work on Monday or any day of the week that you are required to work? Think about this for a moment.
If you can’t bring your children to work on Monday, then why should you be expected to bring work home with you on a Saturday or Sunday?
“No is a complete sentence.” Anne Lamott
Set Boundaries. Set them Early.
For boundaries are, “a little like walls in a sandcastle, the second we let one fall over, the rest of them come crashing down.”